2016 seems like the year that took; not a week went by when there wasn’t a report about someone dying,  at a rate that sent shockwaves around the world. Closer home, we lost my last surviving grandparent.

Cucu was strong willed, funny and brave…I still tear up when I think about her because I grew up seeing her each year throughout my childhood, standing by the little gate outside her house as she watched us drive in to her compound in Kangaru, Embu, to celebrate Christmas. As the years went by we still saw her often, at family gatherings and later when she would come to Nairobi for medical check ups. In August of 2015 my mother called me on a Thursday, I remember her sounding sombre, telling me to join her in hospital to see Cucu. I went and found a few other family members were there as well. I held her hand, burst out crying as she lay struggling to breathe. I prayed for her, kissed her hand and cheek, told her I loved her. That Saturday, she passed away. It stung, but not as much for me as it did for my father, who was very close to her, his beloved mother. Needless to say, the next few days of planning her funeral and laying her to rest were very emotional. She was meant to meet Baby Huru for the first time late that month, I’ll never live that down. Still, we will celebrate her memory and give thanks that she lived until the age of 90!


All in all, it reminds me that you really have to take time to be with the ones you love and love the ones you’re with. Not a lot of people hold that to heart anymore and it’s the saddest thing. Is it because our social fabric is full of afray? Perhaps we’re too caught up in the approval of social media than that of the people that genuinely care the most about us. I know families and friendships have their complexitiies and dysfunctionalities but ultimately, we ought to try work things out with the people that have our best interests at heart. Life, as the cliche goes, is short. Don’t live it regretting why you didn’t make amends.

At least we have memories of Cucu. Here is a short dedication to those who’ve lost a loved one this year:

Is it lovely where you are? Placid, calm?
Do you still read your favourite book,
Do you still have your scars?
Are you better? Are you free?
Are you thinking of me?
Do you still hear me breathing, when I’m crying, when I sing?

(‘Still: Part 1’,
Poetry by Janet)


In Loving Memory of Cucu

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17 Discussion to this post

  1. Mercy Shirk says:

    You’re a wonderful woman Janet and quite inspiring am a 21 year old and I love reading all your posts gives me guidance an hope in life… May your cucu rest in peace and may you and your family get peace too…. God bless you and yours truly and abundantly

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thank you for that Mercy! It means a lot to me that you find my posts inspiring. I appreciate that my dear ❤

  2. Elidah mwangi says:

    Hey heart felt condolences… Cucu is in a better place now,very proud of you,watching over you and smiling from above.she is resting in love .This is with so much love.may her soul rest in peace.
    Happy new year to you and your FAM at large.#positive vibes.
    Thanks for you!

  3. Elidah mwangi says:

    Hey heart felt condolences… Cucu is in a better place now,very proud of you,watching over you and smiling from above.she is resting in love .This is with so much love.may her soul rest in peace.
    Happy new to you and your FAM at large.#positive vibes.
    Thanks for you!

  4. Kadenyi liz Brenda says:

    I lost my mother this year in March, the wound is still sore,its still so painful for she was my best friend,i still cant make friends,but I believe God will take me through, we thank God for the memories we still share about her.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      So sorry for your loss. You will heal and make friends at your very own time. I wish you love, healing and blessings as you grieve your mother. Hugs to you and yours ❤️🙏🏾

  5. Fayee mainah says:

    I pass my condolences to your beloved family, as well I lost my daddy at the eve of Christmas of which that got me by surprise, being left behind with my mom who was a housewife back then my world turned upside down considering my mom was a second wife. I am happy and proud because I made it in life till I completed University though I still tear up when I remember his calm soul, forever they will remain in our souls. Our loved ones that left us they are now angels in heaven watching over us and so is your granny

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      What a powerful, moving message Fayee. I’m so sorry for your loss. How amazing to hear that you made it in life and went through with your studies. Thank you for sharing your story! Bless you and RIP to your dad. He would be proud of you ❤️❤️

  6. Mercy ceciliaz says:

    Scars are always there to remind us of our past memories,cucu she is in a better place, pray for her as she does to you always. 😢😢
    I grew up when both my grandparents from My fathers side were gone, i see their photos and tear up.. But well, they all hold special place in our hearts

  7. Alice says:

    This definately teared me up this morning. I lost my dad this year 31st August. I still cry most of the time when i think of him and since then it’s been a roller coaster of emotions trying to handle it. I terribly miss my dad.
    Even in death i still love him so😩.
    My condolences to everyone who has lost a loved one this year.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Alice my heart goes out to you and your family. Let us celebrate the memory of our loved ones as we will always hold a part of them close to us. God bless you all ❤️❤️❤️

  8. Shelmith ng'ang'a says:

    She is in a better place mama.. Watching you from a distance…

    Death!! Death!!! Rest in Peace my dear mum..
    We can never question God’s plans. He knows the best

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