THERE MUST BE A NAME FOR IT

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I’m lying in bed, bloated, restless. I shouldn’t have nibbled on that plate of fries, then again I shouldn’t have indulged in a lot of things I’ve been eating lately. Emotional eating, they call it. An increase in food intake in response to negative emotions. So where exactly is this stemming from? I feel like I know all too well, but I’m not sure I want to accept it. I just want to skip to the part where I fix it.

What do you call it when you’re elated and grateful to be going through such amazing transitions such as marriage and motherhood, but feeling so overwhelmed you feel thrown off balance? Is there a name for it? When you’re trying to make the work-life balance work but you’re constantly fatigued, stuck in between why-am-I-taking-on-so-much and do-I-need-to-be-doing-more…

How do we begin to gain equilibrium? Or does it never stop? Do we binge on Netflix marathons, night after night, to avoid thinking in circles about our troubles?
The trouble with watching entire seasons of our favourite series’ back to back is that, although it will take our mind off our troubles, it’s passive. Unfortunately, passivity breeds passivity. So…what’s the healthy way?

The problem is that people often think we (those folks who get where I’m coming from here!) are making much ado about nothing, when the chronic fatigue and feeling of guilt or exasperation wipes the poker face off and reveals the truth about the struggle. Yes, it’ll pass. Yes, millions have managed and so will we. Yes, it’s actually normal…I accept this. I get it. I’m in the know. The issue is in the NOW and trying to just move past it.

I’m in this passivity season and so far, prayer, even though I’m not sure I’m doing it right some times, certainly helps. Working out is never a bad thing, I need to get back out there! Talking it out, it does wonders. Documenting it, like I’m doing now. Therapeutic.

I’ll keep exploring. I’ll keep getting better at getting better.

I’d love to know how some of you manage the work-life-balance stress! Comment below. Let’s talk 🙌🏾

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22 Discussion to this post

  1. mama Tamara says:

    Hey Janet,I have never commented before but just know that many of us out here read your posts and get inspired..i am a new mom too and I am now trying to get back to work …there are lots of uncertainties about how my girl will cope,will I be able to balance or how it will all work out..but reading your posts I know that somehow I will even though it will take time..thanks

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thank you for your message Mama Tamara and congratulations on your bundle of joy! I can imagine the anxiety, the fatigue, the uncertainty…I’ve been there and I have my bad days but ultimately my love for my little angel keeps me going. I know you feel me! We’ll keep figuring it out. Bless you dear and keep your head high! God bless you and your family 🙏🏾❤

  2. Aweko says:

    I’m a stay at home mum with an 8 month old with no help.Oh boy is it work.. I spend my day prying him from everything dangerous that he suddenly loves. I can barely squeeze in 10 minutes for coffee since someone told my little man that naps are for losers. I run an online art and craft store but I can barely get time to work, I have to do it in the evenings when he sleeps. It’s annoying when we have people over and they say “it must be fun to stay at home all day, play with the baby and paint”…the urge to throw someone off the balcony has never been so strong. As long as I’m doing the best I can it doesn’t really matter what anyone else thinks.

  3. Jacinta Ogallo says:

    An operating room registered nurse, a mum to a young one, no househelp , a non supporting baby daddy and working in the States….having to show empathy to my patients and still come home to a more ‘needier’ environment can take a toll on the body! I have been at the edge of giving up…giving up on it all. + not having no support system. Question of why is my young one being raised in a day care…the guilt is ever creeping in that am not doing it right.. I thank God for being able to rely on him most of the time…but when does it end????? .the ever exasperated nurse (sigh!!!!!)

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Oh wow! That’s a lot! But you know what? You’ve just showed me how strong you are, how much you’re doing for your little one which he’ll understand in time. Keep at it hun, keep at it. I can’t imagine how overwhelming that can get but I feel like you’re built for it. Thank you so much for sharing that!

  4. Fiona nereah says:

    Wow today we are going there haha…. I came face to face with that thing that we don’t have a name for when iIgot my second baby 👶 had a C section so it was twice as hard and my hubby was out of town working baby wouldn’t sleep or stop crying all day all night it got to me and one night I just got fed up iremember waking up my Househelp at 2am to watch over the kids and I opened the door to my house took the car keys and left iparked my car on the road and icried can’t explain it but all of a sudden I just felt peace in my heart ♥ all around and I knew Jesus was there so Janet we don’t know what to call that thing we don’t have a name for but one name we never forget Jesus!!!! I love you girlie

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      I love your honesty Fiona! Thank you for showing us that it’s normal to break sometimes but yes, Jesus takes the wheel! I hope you’re doing better now! All the best ❤️

  5. Fedinah Feddy says:

    Well well Janet it’s a challenging situation but what I can say is that being time conscious is a great deal managing time matters alot especially you who has a family and work you need to be smart in your daily activities so that you don’t give one more time than the other on the other hand know that everyone needs you even that one person who doesn’t know you there is a point you too will need them Janet so be wise…….. Mine is manage every situation wisely

  6. Maureen says:

    Well janiie..wish i could relate with al that..sometimes i think the best thing to do is to look at al the positives that’s occuring to u and al mums out there..i mean. Janet..career wise uv taken the stand..marriage is a beautiful thing having to share in someones elses life and being taken care of once again..and mostly being a mother..nurturing is the real deal here…then..u got ua own things going on as well..helping out young girls stay in school thru provinsion of sanitary pads..big up..keep strong..ua story is out here and u should b proud and be strong..coz u are blessed.. Currently am working.. Studying parttime
    .and trying small side hustles..am stil trying to keep fit by working out once in a while.. And not forgetting i also hav parents and siblings that need my help.. Soo i appreciate having to juggle thru al that..and stil keep a sane mind
    ..am proud coz as a firstborn.. I inspire lots of my friends and relatives… Sometimes i even wonder am i realy 21??!hehe lots of love janet and the working mums out there..

  7. Jackie says:

    I am a young mum, still in campus. It’s not easy too balancing school with motherhood, sometimes I get emotional and cry but thank God when I look at her. Luckily I have s cooperative househelp and the baby daddy is soo supportive. But even then it gets really into my nerves,hectic.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      That’s amazing Jackie! Good for you! I can only imagine it’s not the easiest thing but like I’ve said in some of my posts, having a support system really creates a sense of sanity. Here’s to working mums! May we never lose it 😁Thanks for reading and commenting on my post ❤

      • jackie says:

        You are really a role model to me. You give me the strength to push on everytime I watch you reading news that late and imagine that you have a son waiting for you at home…it really encourages me to relax at school when I am away from my daughter and carry on with the days activities.

  8. Joan Cajic says:

    I usually just say it’s a transition we go through to be a better you if that names sense, we get tired over stressed and even end up over-thinking I agree with Cynthia just let go and your inner being will lead you.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Yes transitions are always there, I think the point I’m making here is trying to cope with the overwhelming sense of trying to get a lot done at the same time. Thanks for your comment!

  9. mum Ethan says:

    I wish i knew too….am a new mum my boy is only 8 months house girl drama and some point i feel like quitting my job but we are not well off financially and i dont want to burden hubby.Now i just found out am pregnant again clearly birth control is not 100% effective. Am taking one day at a time coz clearly i could go crazy how will i survive this considering i had a c-section.its overwhelming even praying is proving to be a difficult task.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Don’t go crazy dear! I think we all need an avenue to vent, decompress and share how we’re feeling. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed but at the same time we have to focus on fixing it. What makes you feel better? Is there someone who can help out at times? I know all too well about nanny drama, trust me! Our babies will grow. At least that is for sure. So for now I’m focussing on that. It shall be well dear, all the best and congratulations on your pregnancy!

      • mum Ethan says:

        Thanks though am not feeling all happy about the pregnancy..i feel like i will loose out on my first borns childhood when am unable to hold him and play with him when tummy grows considering i have to be extra careful now and after baby 2 which will be another cs but am hopeful all will be well.My family is not near but i thank God for my MIL she is a gem…n thanks Janet ur an inspiration to many hugs

        • Janet Mbugua says:

          I can imagine how overwhelming you’re feeling but be sure to lean on your MIL if she’s your support. That way when you need a moment to rest she can come and stay with your LO. Don’t ever be afraid to get support. Praying for you ❤

  10. CYNTHIA NYONGESA says:

    Well I guess this a phase we all go through. Sometimes we have so much energy to do everything and other times we want to sleep all day haha. I also don’t know if it has a name, all I know is that at this point, you have to reconnect with your inner being, don’t overtthink, just let go and let God do his work in your life.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Well said Cynthia! I appreciate that it’s a phase so I’m not too stressed, but being in the zone can be overwhelming. Thanks for sharing!

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