HARD TO SAY I’M SORRY

Janet4

I was at a house party looking over at a friend-turned-frenemy.

We had exchanged an awkward ‘hello’ earlier that afternoon, having not seen or spoken to each other in years. As the party progressed, we were on opposite sides of the room, enjoying ourselves but giving each other the occasional side-eye, trying to pretend the other person wasn’t there.

As the evening drew on, I began to feel the weight of the tension between us. This is someone I’ve known a long time, and even though we’ve never been joined at the hip, we shared the same circles and enjoyed many happy moments together. One day, because of a ‘he-said-she-said’ scenario, we began to build this wall between us that now seemed ten feet high. The tension escalated, we said hurtful things behind the other’s back that eventually came back to bite us and now here we were, barely able to look one another in the eye. I suddenly felt annoyed and frustrated. Aren’t we a little too old not to hash things out?

Janet1

I felt myself move towards her. ‘Can we talk?’ I asked, not knowing how this was going to end but prepared to try all the same. She seemed genuinely surprised, worried even, but willingly said, ‘sure’. One thing was for certain; I didn’t feel compelled to apologise for my actions over the last few years; I didn’t think I’d said or done anything wrong so I was waiting to get an apology from HER. We began that difficult conversation. She claimed I suddenly shut her out of my life, I told her I felt the same way, that she’d slowly started avoiding me. The conversation didn’t last long. We both got very emotional and then realised we should have had this conversation ages ago, because it was clearly miscommunication and the ripple effect had lead us to this point.

She began to cry and for a moment I stood there…and then my heart just sank. ‘You really hurt me,’ she blurted out. I hugged her and it came tumbling out my mouth. ‘I’m sorry’. I’m not even sure what I was apologising for but she was hurt and it seemed, still seems like the right thing to have done. And that, for the most part, was that. We hugged it out, and decided to move past the drama and start afresh. Things haven’t been perfect since then, I don’t expect anything spectacular to happen overnight, but we’re definitely in a better place now and have even spoken on phone a few times and purposed to meet.

Janet3

It seems like the hardest word to say nowadays is ‘sorry’. A genuine, heartfelt sorry, one that can mend bridges, heal a broken heart, restore a friendship.

Granted, in some situations the other party has wronged you, hurt you, tried you. If someone is poisoning your happiness for no particular reason other than to feed their own sadistic nature (you’ve even tried talking it out with them and they just seem defiant), that relationship is probably not worth you investing time in. Move past it.

From time to time I still struggle with saying ‘I’m sorry’. It could be pride, or the fear of looking weak. Whatever the reason, wisdom continues to teach me that, no matter how difficult it may be to say it, ‘sorry’ pacifies and gives you peace of mind. Whether or not the recipient of your apology forgives you, you may not know it but you’ve just started your own healing by being the bigger person.

My advice? If you’re weighing a situation trying to figure out whether or not to extend that olive branch, meditate on it, even seek counsel from someone who knows you well and then make a decision that you’ll be at peace with. In the end, your clear conscience is what matters. But better learn how to get your ‘sorries’ right, because it’s increasingly hard to live in the global village without them.

‘People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway’ – Do it Anyway, Mother Teresa

Janet5

Photography: Olive Ndungutse (Facebook)
Styling: www.acestyleconsultants.com
Sweater: Kungara (kungarakenya.net)
Make up: @kaytemachariamakeup (Instagram)
Hair: Lenny Ngugi (Facebook)

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161 Discussion to this post

  1. landry kavinya says:

    what an interesting piece..well saying of sorry and admitting to your mistakes is hard but what pains the most is when you apologize to a person and they make fun and laugh at you..others even go to an extend of using your apology hurt you even more by telling your circle of friends what you did or said…it really hurts and that is what makes me fear saying the 4 letter word

  2. Yvonne says:

    Janet….You are such an inspiration.. Reading this article..made me reflect on me…how much am always the bigger person to start a conversation with someone have fallen out with…how much I always want to be a Bridge… Between people esp family members who have had a falling out..I like that your so real on your feelings.. I mean many pple can relate..kudos..and one thing that I know and always tell myself is that forgiveness is for my own piece of mind…t doesn’t matter even if I don’t get to talk to that person again what matters is that am right with God..and at piece…but at the end of the day..we have to accept that change is inevitable ,pple change and sometimes after a fall out with a friend things might never go back to how they used to be or might be better…all in all we should always pray to get friends who are God sent. Hehe…anyway Thank you Janet

  3. Winfred says:

    Wow…. Nice piece couldn’t have asked for more than these.

  4. BRIAN OCHIENG says:

    halo janet. your piece is quite insightful and i just wish i had the courage to tell my gal EVELYNE sorry. i couldnt bring maself to sincerely saying these words.guess the ego in me wouldnt allow

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thanks so much for reading my post, Brian. Yes it’s often hard to say sorry but the day you find the courage to, you will feel the weight lifted off your shoulder. I hope you and your friend will be able to work things out. All the best!

  5. Barbara says:

    After reading this i now have the courage to speak to my high-school best-friend. i seriously cant tell you why we even stopped talking. but i feel bad i only see what she is up-to through social media (facebook Instagram) :-( Where to start is the question.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thanks for your comment Barbara. It’s never easy making that first step, but closure is so much better than never knowing what went wrong. Wishing you all the best! Let me know how it goes.

  6. Dennis says:

    Hi Janet,first piece of article u have read,and it’s insightful how the three letter sentence breaks the tensions and mends bridges.thank you.

  7. mercy says:

    saying sorry costed me a friend i realy loved so much,just to bend in and say am wrong,its so hard to swallow pride and sometimes learning the hard way helps

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      It’s never easy Mercy, but you did the right thing, you said you’re sorries and now you can begin the process of healing. All will be well. Thank you for reading my post.

  8. Petronillah says:

    Waoooo.. this is the best way to live with others yet the hardest. A wonderful reminder Janet to each one of us. We eagerly await the next article….

  9. Janet K says:

    Enjoyed reading this. Unfortunately, saying that word is too difficult for me. I guess I use actions instead.

  10. Nelson Ng'ang'a says:

    what an inspiring article..*im sorry* golden. words…

  11. Grace says:

    I like the way you try to respond to all these comments :-)
    That’s very well written, it brings us back to the basics of a simple life.
    I wish you could be posting such articles more often though

  12. Grace Kimani says:

    God help us to humble ourselves and be able to apologise…..as i feel like as time goes am drawing apart with my best friend just because of not having a dialogue and apologise. Thank you Janet a good piece there

  13. Abdikadir Ali says:

    good piece…learnt alot, a good advice. Thank you Janet

  14. Nancy Wambui Nyambura says:

    God!!!!this takes me back to 2012..And it made me tear up. If only i had said sorry, maybe it would have been easy moving on and would have had a better closureand wouldn’t have all the regrets that i have now!
    My mumand I didn’t have a good relationship and i have lived a very bitter life cause she left me when i was only 2 months old,under the care of my great-granny.
    I grew up to hate her but apart of me wanted her cause i have never known or had parental love..and as an only child,it weighed me down and was very lonely..little did i know that she was struggling with something bigger and only came to understand her when it was too late,,she had already passed on and i never got the chance to talk,listen,cuddle or say that i was sorry cause i was also at fault for being so hardheaded when she tried to reach reached out out to me in 2009 after high school. My hatred had mounted and i never wanted to see nor hear from her..sadly,i lost her on 2012.
    it was already too late to even say sorry or say/hear her tell me that she loves me… its something i’ll live with but i l forgave her and i am sorry for having hurt her in any way!! if only i could go back,,,i wouldn’t care what she did or didn’t do…i’d start afresh just to be with her!!i have never shared my story cause there is more to it but to cut the story short..please say SORRY WHEN YOU CAN.
    don’t wait until its too late.you have the ability to change things now that you have time,, don’t live to regret it!!
    Thanks JanetMbugua for this article.
    Respect.

  15. Cynthia Mukanzi says:

    You know what Janet, you rock! Thanks for spilling some wisdom my way. This word ‘sorry’ is not even that difficult. We are just sometimes caught up in a web, created by us, then we seem unable to untangle ourselves from it, or choose not to. But it doesn’t always have to be that hard. You just showed me that. There is power in ‘I’m sorry’,and it has to come from a clean/genuine place.

  16. Fila says:

    Great lesson from you Janet…that humility and always being the first to say sorry makes you strong

  17. Bree says:

    Finally!!You are back to writing and posting on your blog which makes me so happy ??.Thanks for this interesting piece on saying sorry and how it can heal broken hearts.

  18. walter wallen says:

    lovely to me kinda feels like an understatement…. that there eclipses wonderful….nice piece

  19. Mercy says:

    Nice piece Janet. I learnt something. It is better to swallow your pride and apologize.

  20. joseph says:

    It touches me as well. read this as well
    https://sober247.wordpress.com/

  21. Germaine says:

    I know I needed this, to learn to be the ‘bigger’ person look past the bitterness and forgive even before I get that apology. Lovely piece Janet!

  22. Tilus says:

    Niiiice piece Ms Mbugua..

  23. Mwangi says:

    Sorry
    Is all that you can’t say
    Years gone by and still
    Words don’t come easily
    Like sorry like sorry

    Forgive me
    Is all that you can’t say
    Years gone by and still
    Words don’t come easily
    Like forgive me forgive me

    But you can say baby
    Baby can I hold you tonight
    Maybe if I told you the right words
    At the right time you’d be mine

    check this out;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjRo_CHSdt0

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      I love the Tracy Chapman version of this song and it remains one of my favourite love songs. Thanks for posting the link on my blog!

  24. Caroline says:

    What an interesting piece for peace, indeed we’ve got to swallow our pride and let the words out. it’s therapeutic.

  25. amanda says:

    Am going through the same situation with a cousin.We were quite close.She unfriended me from facebook i’ve never known why..we no longer talk.I gathered the courage to ask her on whatsapp to make it clear to me what i did to her so i know what am apologising for and not to repeat again,i saw that she read it but ignored.I confronted her elder sister to mediate but she ignored all the same.So ive just decided to let it go and let it be.

  26. Roy says:

    Difficult place. All along shez been thinking wewe ndio mbaya, na wewe all along uve been thinking yeye ndio mbaya! Our self centeredness is really the fuel to all unforgiveness.. thanks for the piece Janet

  27. Newton says:

    Its never easy to say “am sorry” for a mistake you’ve not done, but its the best thing. I’ve done it and as you say, a healing process begins right there. Thank you for the article.

  28. dennis says:

    i agree with you janet

  29. Giftine says:

    Thanks Janet,God bless.I just subscribed to your blog,I don’t want to miss any more.

  30. Alice says:

    Liberating indeed, there’s immense relieve in saying you are sorry

  31. Sweet16 says:

    Such a Beautiful Read Janet, we all are too proud to say sorry and always end up paying attention to gossip

  32. Jean says:

    A very nice article… but just to throw a curveball… what if one is on the receiving end?? Sb pulled back then tried to reinsert themselves in your life… do you say I forgive you first? 😛

  33. Mary Mwadime says:

    My way of dealing with things has been just walking away.
    But i just learnt something from this
    May God bless you Janet

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      I’m really happy to hear that Mary. When you eventually decide to mend fences with the person(s) you have in mind, please let me know how it goes ? Cheers and all the best!

  34. Jackie Mapenzi says:

    Nice inspiration article,it’s always good and such amazing experience when you say sorry,forgive and let of go the grudge.It’s not worth it.

  35. Florence says:

    That was very bold and noble of you Janet. Apologising without even knowing what it is that you did wrong. You got quite a big heart. God bless you abundantly for that. Wish we had more people like you. Thanks for sharing

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Hey Florence, thanks for reading my post! Well, I think I (kinda-sorta) knew that I’d had a part to play in allowing the friendship to be compromised, but it’s only when I saw her breakdown that I felt a sense of sadness and a little guilt, which prompted me to apologise. It’s complicated, with regards to the whole issue of saying sorry and forgiveness, I’m getting there. Thanks again!

  36. em. says:

    I kept procrastinating until it was too late she died two weeks ago . I still wish we had that talk. It haunts we because we were joined at the hip The only girlfriend I told everything and I mean everything .

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Emily, I’m so sorry for your loss. That must be so difficult to deal with, but please don’t let it consume you. Everything happens for a reason. For now, just remember all the wondeful moments you shared together during your friednship. Thank you for reading my post!

  37. Joyce Muriithi says:

    Thanks Janet for reminding me that it takes a lot of strength to say I am sorry and it isn’t a sign of weakness. ….We must learn to forgive so that God may also forgive us.

  38. Matilda says:

    Do not hold grudges.
    Dont wait till its late and you dont get to say that simple word sorry.Good article Janet

  39. Nyambura Ndirangu says:

    This article is deep, and true. I have missed your blogging, please write more often.
    God bless you Mama Huru.

  40. Mercy Kangsy says:

    Spot on Janet!! This reminds me of a time, actually back in high school, when I had a grudge with a then very close friend of mine. During the ‘grudge period’ we did not see eye to eye as much as we were sitting on the same row. I would have stuff to share but only keep them to myself because the one person that used to listen to all my weird stories was now against me, or so I thought. We both had our ego at level 100 and none of us would take the first step to apologize. The day we settled our issues (which were just bogus accusations), we realized that we had lost a lot of time that we could have used to advance our lives together. I learnt that taking a step to create peace where there once existed war is the boldest step one can ever take! Saying sorry is liberating!

  41. Dodzweit says:

    Awesome piece. I would read it over and over again.

  42. zai says:

    shame on me for stumbling on this AMAZING and HONEST blog now!!! wonderful writtings Janet…..double thumbs up.

  43. Priscillar says:

    Thanks a lot Janet,you made me remember my friend whom we found ourselves not communicating without any genuine reason.
    i just made that bold step and called her.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      That’s so great to hear Njeri! I hope you’ve worked things out now? Thank you so much for your feedback ??

  44. zaina says:

    shame on me for stumbling on this superb and HONEST blog Now!!! Amazing writtings.

  45. Mark M says:

    Very true..Really good insight…but how do the pictures aid the story?…sorry i just had to ask

  46. Ole Malee says:

    Wow, very inspiring coming at the backdrop of degraded value systems in our generation. A key determinant in the healing of relations.
    Thanks Janet

  47. Marco and Eunice says:

    Deep, true and powerful.

  48. Arianna says:

    A very close friend of mine slept with my ex whom she clearly knew I still wasn’t over and when I asked, she simply said that I deserved it. Not in those exact words but in one sentence she managed to break every single fibre of trust that existed in me. Its been over a year now since that conversation, and this incident seems to weigh in heavily on my life. I resolved to the fact that it is a man eat man society. Every man for himself.

  49. Nadds says:

    Thank you janet mbugua…atlist i have know the meaning of forgiveness and letting go….i always follow you on IG and fb…stay blessed

  50. Mutuma Dennis says:

    It is never about the other person but always about me being the bigger person and saying the three simple magical words.. “I am Sorry.”

    Whether you were on the wrong or not; I have seen that work so many times for me. In most cases, it takes the other person aback and they have to take a critical look at their actions and most times, they also come to say “sorry.”

    Be the bigger Person and apologize. It’s like heaping hot coals on someone’s hands.

    Thanks Janet for the awesome piece.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      You hit the nail on the head, Dennis. This is what I was driving at; it’s about your own healing, your own peace of mind, whether or not the other person thinks they are right or wrong. Thank you for reading and commenting on my post!

  51. reuben odanga says:

    Beautiful read. Quite insightful

  52. Lillian says:

    Nice one janet didnt make as per say but today i decided to pull my workmate aside and just talk about our issues at work that have been pilling there was some relief after the talk though not a 100%change at once but we have to atleast have a condusive working environment

  53. adonis says:

    we may not forget immediately but forgiving those who wrong I and you in general Us nice one J good piece

  54. Lydiah says:

    You talked right into me ……. I am in a similar situation and I feel I have tried enough. Some we Win, Some we lose. Thanks Janet.

  55. josephine says:

    What if you the one always apologizing for everything even if they are the one on the wrong and they never apologize that they have hurt you. Is that fair

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      No Josephine it’s not fair, but I think what’s even worse is not releasing that anger you feel towards the other person. Whether it means reaching out to them one more time or simply moving past the relationship, whatever makes you live your life without pent up anger and remorse is what is best for you! Thanks for your feedback ??

  56. Migwi says:

    What a Nice read!!

  57. Fatuo says:

    Wow Janet thanks for the article it took me way back to resolve stuff happen way back .everytime we meet in family stuff I finish quickly I leave becouse I don’t want to feel the heart full and angry I felt that time.
    After your articles I felt I should try and resolve the issue but this person feels soo good the point I feel it’s me who was wrong .

    I know I day it will be well
    Thanks
    Fatui

  58. Gakii Taitumu says:

    Ohhh Janet…… Your article spoke to my heart!
    Thanks.
    And don’t I love you!!!!!!!!!
    You are beautiful, brilliant, humble…….and shy-:)

  59. Yolanda Maureen says:

    lovely piece Janet. I’m certain many will learn from this…. continue with the good work.. xoxo

  60. Mel says:

    I Dont think I can. My boyfriend disrespected me so I got really pissed off then I told him about it. He got angry and then asked me to apologize. I should apologize because he disrespected me???

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      No Mel not at all. I’m not syaing apologize when someone has disrespected you. There’s a part where I write ‘If someone is poisoning your happiness for no particular reason other than to feed their own sadistic nature (you’ve even tried talking it out with them and they just seem defiant), that relationship is probably not worth you investing time in. Move past it.’ You don’t have to force it, just let it take it’s natural course. you deserve to be happy, ma. Don’t let the past hold you back from that! Thank you for your comment!

      • edith says:

        Mel according to me yes, you should forgive for your own peace bt that doesnt mean you stick around for bulshit. Forgiveness gives a leeway for better things

  61. Grace says:

    A nice lesson Janet. You are my role model

  62. Shiku says:

    Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

  63. Gosvina says:

    This what am going through now
    I read this and found the solution thanks janet

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thank you Jim, wishing you the best and hope it all works out! I appreciate you reading my post. Asante

  64. Hawi says:

    It is never easy sucking it up and being the bigger person saying sorry even when you know very well that you did no wrong. Things may never even be the same again but what counts is taking that step. Thanks Janet for this reminder…

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thank you for your reflections Hawi. True, things may never be the same but at least you made the effort to right the wrongs. Thanks for reading my post!

  65. christine says:

    Just read that and its really sad that am hurting over a friendship i thought could go well. Ive always been the one to say sorry and its really sickening that i just feel i will say sorry for the sake of it and not mean it. Its good to for give and let go but some people do take it for granted

  66. Nereah says:

    I so love this article. As soon as I begun to read it I pictured a number of similar situations I have been in….that still eat at my spirit and my conscience. Very eye opening

  67. Margie Njihia says:

    Profound article.. Powerful words. Wow.. Great inspiration Janet

  68. Sharon Debra says:

    this just got me into tears, my best friend and I won’t say sorry,I’ve tried to invest in this friendship but it seems as if she gave up or i did,great inspirational there I’ll say sorry and move past it.she is a friend I’ve known for years now..but saying sorry and it wasn’t my fault nearly chokes me.thanks Janet.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thank you so much Sharon. The great thing is that you tried; you said sorry and whether or not your friend wants to move past it is not in your control. Do your part and try, as hard as it may seem, to move on. Maybe someday you’ll mend your friendship but you I’ve learnt that you can’t force such issues. I appreciate you sharing your story with me ☺️

  69. Janet says:

    it’s like you were writing about me. i just literally made up with a friend we hadn’t with for a while. same she-said he-said drama.
    reaching out to her was HARD! the pride in me couldn’t let me but in the spirit of letting go i did it and now i am a happier person

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Hi there namesake! That’s great to hear! Isn’t it such a relief? Thanks for reading and commenting on my post ??

  70. edith says:

    Am so much inspired with your article janet, i believe in the word sorry, not only does it heal the other person but you too..forgiveness has changed me a whole lot, totaly a different person who lived in bitterness, resentment, anger and hated everyone bt am so happy and peaceful coZ of forgiveness.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Good on you Edith. Like I said I’m still struggling with getting there but I’ll keep working on it. Thanks so much for your comment!

      • edith says:

        True janet, it is a journey and with God you will truimph. The major step is choosing to forgive..you are a great inspiration mama ethan

  71. Pureh says:

    You are an inspiration to many Janet

  72. Ruthy says:

    Thank-you Janet for this post , I almost feel like this piece mirrors an almost similar experience that i went through a few days ago,I decided to extend an olive branch to someone who hadn’t been talking to me for close to 3 months, took up the challenge to be the ‘bigger one’. I apologized(though i didn’t know what exactly i had done) however this party didn’t open up stating that ,that was in the past.Bottom line, I feel like a load has been removed from my body,my heart is much lighter and i can indeed acknowledge the fact that the word Sorry is a magical word,don’t feel like you are the weaker party. Bottom line,forgive and move on!!!Have a lovely day

  73. Bee says:

    lovely set thanks so much

  74. caroline says:

    This is so true Janet .Extending an olive branch is one of the toughest things one can do. But at least it will give you peace of mind.Still working on that.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thanks for your comment Caroline. I hear you, its’ not easy! But it really gives you that peace of mind at the end of the day.

  75. Liz Karanja says:

    Thank you Janet for that inspiring story. Getting it started.

  76. moody says:

    Great post! loved the article……….it speaks to me a great deal!

  77. Andrew Wanyoike says:

    ……………What a Quite Moving Piece!!!! It ought to be ‘Painted’ in Town!!! I mean it Janet!!!! On a Rational point of view, Janet, lemmie ask you a question partly based on this article. When is the right time to “Pacify created situations/scenerios” and most importantly noting that the relationship here is a duplicate of your story? Janet, with all due respect, I think if time can allow you and touch on this, (the Pain of what you underwent before finally getting ‘I’m Sorry’ thing), would save alot along the way. Sincerely, Janet, ‘the Vacuum’ that existed during the ‘Mute Duration’ was an Expense itself, virtually in all Aspects of Social, Economic, Physical & Spiritual Wheels of Life. Dont you think, Probably you will help a brother/sister here to save on resources? Thanks in advance n Gudev.

  78. Winnie says:

    This post has reminded me of a similar situation I was in with my friend we met at a party having the same circle of friends we talked about it she started crying and I joined in I was too emotional but then I don’t know what happened we barely keep in touch

  79. eunice says:

    very deep words there….thanx alot Janet for the inspiration…I always look forward to reading your posts

  80. lorna says:

    deep truth Janet.thanks for sharing

  81. Naipante says:

    Thank you so much Janet for this post, the whole story taught me about forgiveness even when someone don’t deserve it and your posts about motherhood journey they’re amazing. I’m only 20 and a mother of one daughter. Thank you for those tips! Bless you.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thank you my dear. I live, I learn and I feel these lessons can help someone out there. I hope you and your daughter are doing well. Enjoy the precious journey ? Keep reading my posts!

      • Moreen kings says:

        It took me a year to forgive the person who did hurt me most,months to accept his friendship again..
        But janet what do you do,when that same person hurts you again and again?

        • Janet Mbugua says:

          Moreen thank you so much for reading my post and leaving such an honest comment. I think I touched on this in my post; my feeling is that if someone doesn’t see how much you’re trying to give the relationship a chance, move past it. I personally don’t think it’s healthy to invest in such a friendship…maybe time will show them that they need to look inside themselves and learn how to treat people well. Take heart and don’t let the, hold you back from your happiness!

  82. stephanie opati says:

    This comes barely after a week when i decided to let go of any hurt in my heart.n blv me Janet i feel so light to fly n very peaceful.u r an inspiration dear

  83. Lyn Kinyua says:

    Woow. I love this piece. Forgiveness.
    Good work Janet

  84. saadia says:

    Those who forgive are strong ,a quote by Luther king Jr keeps me going whenever am hurt .
    “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive.He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
    There is some good on the worst of us and so evil in the best of us.when we discover this we are less prone to have our enemies”.

  85. Serah says:

    we may not forget immediately but forgiving those who wrong us is the first step to healing..thanks for inspiring words.

  86. Everlyne says:

    Thank you Janet For the Inspirational quote though forgiving does not come easy for sure I really struggle but just like you am almost there..Blessings to you

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      We all struggle dear, it’s not easy but the first step is admitting that you need to make the first move. Thanks for reading!

  87. Noreen says:

    Thank you for the important reminder Janet. I look forward to reading your pieces because they are about real life experiences. We appreciate you sharing your journey with us. Bless.

  88. Maria says:

    I was hurt by my own biological dad almost 2 years now, we have not seen eye to eye and neither have we called each other, i believe what he told me is unforgivable even though as a christian i am commanded to forgive. I am unable. I have swore not to see him a live or dead and it is that bad. No man can mend the fence between me and him but i know before the sun set God will make away. I however said i have forgiven him but i don’t intend to talk to him face to face to tell him that, i am dealing with myself, because i want to set myself right with my God with whom believe is the only father who loves me with unconditional love.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      It sounds like your dad deeply hurt you, Maria. I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m no expert, but I believe time and refelction will allow you to know how best to navigate this situation. Don’t put pressure on yourself, but certainly take the time to find your healing and allow yourself to live your life without anyone holding your feelings hostage. I wish you well and I thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

  89. saadia says:

    Its hard to say sorry at times but you got to let it go and say it for once …its neither weakness nor pride we just find ourselves saying it.
    Thanks Janet for this piece,sorry really heals broken heart.

  90. shiroh Ndichu says:

    The day I discovered the power of forgiveness is the day my life changed. No matter how hard it is I do it anyway. Gives me so much peace

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      That’s great to hear, Shiroh! I have to say that I still struggle with it sometimes but…I’m getting there ?? Thanks for reading and commenting on my post!

  91. esther says:

    wow nice article.forgiveness is the best thing..it makes you to be at peace

  92. Everlyn Muya says:

    I highly agree with you dear,the hardest part is swallowing the pride but it’s good to reconcile with others at that point you will save yourself from harbouring alot of bitterness and your heart will be at peace…Thankyou for this great piece.

  93. Ree says:

    I can relate. I will borrow something from your blog today and try mend some broken friendships. Thank you.

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thank you for your comment Ree. It begins with that small step. Be the one to reach out and don’t worry if the response you get is not what you expected; it’s great that you tried anyway. All the best and thanks for reading my post!

  94. SugarPuss says:

    So timely…hmm…you have somehow managed to read my mind and settled my pride. We should indeed just ‘do it anyway’. Sweet!

  95. Yunia Njeru says:

    Loved this! We should indeed always strive to live at peace with each other as much as is possible.

    Keep writing!

    • Janet Mbugua says:

      Thaks a lot Yunia! Striving to be at peace is often an uphill battle. Keep reading my posts and sharing your feedback!

  96. Bryan says:

    Deeep and inspirational pieace there Janet.

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