You know when your partner asks you, “What’s wrong?” and you say, “Nothing?” I know men reading this feel me! When someone knows you in and out, whether or not you’re sulking, even the slightest change in your mood and demeanor tells them you’re not yourself. Sometimes that change is brought about by thoughts you begin to tell yourself about not being good enough or not being…enough.
So have that conversation. Ask yourself, “What’s REALLY, wrong? Why don’t I feel like myself? What’s holding me back from being happy, from going for what I want?” It’s a tough one to have because sometimes you’ll find yourself going round and round in circles. I know I’ve been there; berating myself and being haunted by impostor syndrome (see my 2015 blog posts for that), until I wanted to run and hide from myself. Believe it or not I traced this back to the times I was told I wasn’t good enough, as far back as primary school! I had to undo these thoughts, slowly, carefully, unwrapping the better parts of me that I would later use to elevate myself.
Sometimes it is the fear of failure. Or even worse, the fear of success. People grapple with insecurities that are sometimes a figment of their imagination. People like you and me, with so much potential, who still shoot themselves in the foot based on these fears that they haven’t gotten to the bottom off.
In order to get out of your own way, you need to get down and dirty with your thinking. Ask yourself what’s wrong until you can feel the ‘click’ of honesty in your heart. Don’t lie to yourself.
“Sometimes, being true to yourself means changing your mind. Self changes, and you follow.” (Vera Nazarian)
Make up: @rosentongondu